Been a while since anything of any depth has made it onto the blog. I suppose it’s been a while since anything of depth has made it into my mind. The two have a correlation with each other.
For the most part I feel like a chicken with my head cut off, running around the yard without a clue of where I’m going. Basically, I’ve just been trying to keep myself busy. How am I doing that? Oh, let me count the ways:
1. Cooking – yep still doing lots of this. Rarely photographing it, playing it entirely by ear, and using it as a main source of stress relief in my evenings. And once a week I try to get together with mom to make her dinner.
2. Photography – Well the ‘pic of the days’ keep showing up, so I guess I’m out there shooting. It’s become a bit brainless, but is still enjoyable.
3. Friends – Yeah, hanging out with friends more now than any other time in my life. Weekly dinners with a big group of us, hanging out at Coyote Joe’s on Wednesday nights, all sorts of entertaining stuff.
4. Reading – I finished War & Peace, read Carl Sagan’s ‘Contact’, Steinbeck’s ‘Tortilla Flat’, and ‘The Giver’. Currently switched tracks a bit and am reading Kahlil Gibran’s ‘Laughter and Tears’. Yep, I’m reading some poetry, and it is awesome.
5. Exercise – Well the addiction continues. I finally reached a point where I realized I was over-doing it. I’ve cut down to ~2 hours of lifting per week, 8-12 miles of jogging, and 6-12 miles of hiking per week. Yeah… I might still be a bit over the top, but what can I say. I feel good (and sore) most days, which is what really counts.
6. Dance – Oh yeah, I’ve added dance into my exercise routine. I’m taking ballroom dance lessons at Yavapai College, and it is a total blast. I’m picking things up fairly quickly, and have some great people in the class to help me along. I was a little afraid of going to a dance class by myself, but have had no problems. I’ve even started occasionally making my way to the open dance at the senior center on friday nights. So far I can make a decent mimicry of the Rumba, Waltz, and Foxtrot. :)
7. Driving – Anywhere. Generally Sunday is reserved as a ‘get out of town’ day now. I just try to put myself in an unfamiliar place, open my eyes, and enjoy life for a few hours. Sometimes people come along with me, sometimes not.
These are all the things that keep my mind occupied, and for the most part they do a decent job of it. There are still plenty of days when loneliness creeps in. Even after six months, I’ve not adjusted entirely to not waking up next to somebody, not having a hand to hold, or a knowing look to share.
And lately, there have been more days of floundering at the seeming lack of purpose in my life. Where am I going? Is there some grand scheme to this whole ‘life’ thing, or am I just left to myself to figure out which direction to steer this boat into? Questions which have no realistic answers. This, I know. But they pester me none-the-less.
All-in-all though, I’d like to think it’s a good life. Or as Robert Prisig said:
“Things are better now. You can sort of tell these things.”