Ahh the joys of the modern internet age.
You wait to hook up your freshly built computer to the internet until you have installed your antivirus software.
Finally, antivirus software firmly planted, you connect to the wireless network at the coffee shop so that you can download the newest virus definitions right out of the box, and enjoy your latte while you do it.
In the fifteen minutes it takes to download those definitions, you get 2 viruses.
No, I'm not even freakin kidding. That's what I get for not waiting until I get to work to connect to the net this morning.
Oh well, I got it all cleared up, and now appear to be entirely up and running. And with the exception of lightroom (which I forgot at home) all my programs are working flawlessly now.